I was scolded yesterday. “I was expecting a blog last night. There was no blog.” Then, later, “I expect a to see a blog tonight.” When I protested that my mother was coming to town this weekend, the response was this: “Okay, then, no pressure. Tomorrow night.”
You know who you are.
When I mentioned this incident to my mother, we got a good chuckle out of it. “You’ll have to wake up in at three in the morning and blog, just to be sure,” my mother said. I groaned.
And then, because my life is a joke, I woke up at 2:30 a.m.
Well, who am I to fly in the face of the universe when it is clearly conspiring against me?! The bloodline on my father’s side of the family carries bizarre humor and a lack of the self-preservation instinct; the bloodline on my mother’s side carries insomnia and an ineffable fondness for Uno. No one else in this town is awake to play Uno.
The upside of blogging at three in the morning when my mother is in town is that I know for a fact that she is a asleep and will not call me as soon as she reads the new post, which would inevitably be just as I was falling back to sleep. Not that she’s prone to calling me in the middle of the night, but as long as we’re both awake anyway…!
[Oh. I just remembered that I’d previously promised to never again blog about Mom before I’d had coffee. Does this count? …Fail.]
Not to change the subject or anything, but has anyone ever played Globetrotter XL? I think I am categorically incapable of attaining anything higher than level 5. I’ve only hit that once! A friend of mine got to Level 8, was amazed at herself, then remembered that her shower curtain is a world map. Probably the only person I know who could beat the game is the guy who decided when he was in elementary school that someone should know all the nations and their capitals, so it might as well be him. And, yes, he is a real person. Or maybe he’s a robot. I haven’t figured that out yet.
As bad as I am at Globetrotter XL, I’m worse at the Japanese Map Game. When JayIsGames.com first introduced me to the Japanese Map Game, I played it because the little sing-song voice giving place names was absolutely adorable. I became obsessed with it because there was that little line of boxes that I needed to fill up and I needed to fill it up exactly. I managed that only a handful of times.
…Oh my lord, what was I thinking? I’m going back to bed before I get sucked into this again. I will sit up all night clicking on provinces and trying not to wake my mother up with my anguished flailing.
Instead, I leave you with a peace offering: a true representation of my life at this very moment. With appreciation to Hyperbole and a Half and acceptance of the fact that I, too, will Never Be An Adult.